By Chava Floryn
Sundays are the hardest days for me to squeeze in my work out as I wrestle with wanting to lie in bed for that extra tempting hour, or squeeze in that big leisure breakfast.
One Sunday morning while I was lying in bed contemplating between boarding my peloton or feasting on pancakes, I decided to go online to gain a little inspiration. This website known as “Real Women’s Fitness” had this to say about keeping trim fit abs:
*“So how should I do cardio for better abs?
Keep your cardio simple. If you are trying to lose weight so that your abs show through you should do three or four sessions a week of some nice high intensity sprinting. Each session should last for not much longer than 20 minutes and should be followed by a nice warm down.”
THEN I READ THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH:
“However, one has to keep in mind that nothing in fitness is a hard and fast rule. I do my three set cardio workouts per week but I also lift weights four times a week, play indoor soccer twice a week, train martial arts at home and walk the dog twice a day. Just because high intensity cardio is better for burning fat it does not mean you should stop your daily jog or your weekly sporting match.”
Did this woman just say she lifts weights four times a week, plays soccer, trains martial arts and takes fourteen walks a week? She just added at least twenty-two hours to her work out regimen a week! Which means the work out professionals of today are saying that in order to stay fit, a person has to work out at a minimum of THREE hours a day.
For those of you having a hard time squeezing in 3-4 hours at the gym with your dog, I’ve concocted my own regimen to help you get those flat abs promised by “real” women’s fitness:
1. Drive past Vons Grocery store and park across the street in the Ralphs parking lot. Take out TWO large duffel bags and hike with one over each shoulder to the VONS store. (Cardio warm up)
2. Walk past the carts and fill up your duffels with as many groceries as you can possibly gather. This will help strengthen your biceps while feeding your family. (Weight lifting regimen)
3. Pay for your groceries in the “do it yourself” aisle. Every single workout has that moment where you’re ready to sprint, stop breathing, and pretty much want to kill your trainer for forcing you to strain yourself- this is that part of the workout. Plus you get extra cardio for emptying your duffels and repacking them. Type in the number indicating Gala apple. Do it again. It didn’t work? Do it again. One more time. Call over the “cashier” they’re paying to torment you. See- how many reps you’re up to?
4. Carry your FULL duffels back to your car. (cool down)
5. Stop at the gas station, pump that lever YOURSELF. Adding to a little more arm strengthening. Don’t cheat by pushing down the metal lever that holds the pump for you.
6. Shlep those duffels back into the house, unload. (If you’re me, you’re hiking up 15 stairs…added reason for a treat later)
7. Cook dinner using a HEAVY pot and now jog out of the house as quickly as you can, since this routine has literally filled your entire day, and it is now three thirty and carpool awaits.
Don’t forget to breath, drink, and pray.
Cause this is a work out for “Real Women” .
(For those of you doing this with babies or toddlers, kudos! You can add an extra 1600 calories lost after this routine.)